[ it's rude, but she's pointing at him with her food. ]
Yes. Until I found myself alone, and then I started thinking about it again, and then I had to smile until my face hurt so that no one would know that anything was wrong with me on an otherwise wonderful set of shows.
[ ...
that's a little real, maybe, and she pops the chicken into her mouth, turning her face away. she misses talking to march. ]
I'll... be fine. I'm just remembering that it sucks to like, like someone.
[ They are in a private setting, she can do whatever the heck she wants. Include point at him with her food. It's just too bad that he has so little experience with offering romantic advice. ]
You can be as unfine in here as you want. I promise I won't tell anyone.
[ Not like he would have told anyone anyway with how closemouthed he is most days. ]
It's always hard, forming attachments only to lose them, and yet we all keep doing it anyway. [ Like a bunch of fools. ]
[ ... she can, huh. it takes a moment, but she reluctantly steps back closer and leans on him. ]
This is enough.
[ a little contact, that's all. friend to friend. unlike... what bit her in the ass before. ]
And you're telling me. I'm not as used to loss as someone like Gebura is, so I don't really know how to protect my heart from it... at the same time, I don't really want to? I like getting to know people, even if it makes me an idiot. I like liking people, even if it's a mistake. That's what living is to me.
[ growing attached, learning something new, and remembering them no matter if they're still around or not. ]
[ She leans on him the smallest bit and he lets her. There's not much he can do for her but if this is one of those things then he'll gladly offer it up. ]
You shouldn't have to get used to it. I wouldn't wish that feeling upon anyone.
[ Speaking from experience. He takes a few more bits of food, chewing in silence. ]
For the record, I think you're just fine the way you are now. The fact that you make the most of the opportunities given to you instead of hide because you're afraid is what draws so many people to you. A bright light that fills up the room. [ ... ] Though you shouldn't feel forced to maintain it at all times.
[ plenty of people have described her as that, too. a bright light. someone who shines. she always feels more like a candle, but
it is nice that he adds on that at the end. it's an obvious thing, and it only hurts others when she has forced herself anyone... old habits die harder than she ever will though. ]
... Thanks. I'll be fine with some time, it's not like I'm lacking in hands to hold or friends to turn to. [ for better and worse. ] And helping everyone through LILITH's sure to keep my mind busy enough anyway.
[ maybe busy enough to simply pin the Other Things She's Dealing With to the side too and then she definitely won't be accosted by them in the future,
nonetheless malkuth's turning her head up she's tired of talking about herself!!!!! she needs to know this one thing!!!!!!! ]
But tell me! Your good news, Wrio! Who's the lucky person in your life, huh?
[ Enough about her, turning back to him, and this one time he'll accept the spotlight that's been turned to face him instead of reflexively trying to find a way to weasel away. ]
What, you don't think every person in my life is lucky to have me around?
[ Okay, maybe some of the reflex is still there. ]
[ Is that truly luck or is it a stroke of bad fortune....
She digs back into her Chinese food and he watches her, more interested in making sure her little upward lift in mood stays. ]
Sadly, I'm no fairy tale prince, able to fall in love at first sight. [ Even if he occasionally gives off enough green flags to be one. Anyway. ] It's Ishmael.
and then finish putting it in her mouth anyway, chewing slowly and thoughtfully. ishmael, huh? ishmael and wriothesley... ]
... So even she's got a gooey lovey-dovey heart under that prickly shell of hers...
[ don't worry. they're on better terms, malkuth's just like this with everyone. maybe there is hopes for the likes of gebura and yesod. ]
Congrats on the catch! I'm surprised she went for it, though -- it's not like... the people who come from the City are all that good with, you know. Understanding they deserve good things too. Generally speaking.
[ not her though she knows she deserves good things that's why she shoots herself in the foot and takes things for granted ]
[ Good thing he doesn't have food in his mouth right now because he might have choked on a slice of beef, just a little. ]
I wouldn't call it lovey-dovey...
[ A little softer on the inside than that prickly exterior might suggest, sure. Not that he's not in danger of inhaling beef, it's time for another forkful to chew and swallow. (And yes, we are rooting for Gebura and Yesod.) ]
I don't think she wanted to, at first. [ Not to spill all of Ishmael's secrets or anything. ] She still could decide at any point that this is too much for her and walk away.
[ And he'd let her. Anyway, ]
You don't seem to have any problems with the art of romance.
[ what a sweet guy. ishmael's lucky to have wriothesley, which does not have a quarter of the same sickly feeling malkuth has about
anyway. she shrugs. ]
I catch on too late.
[ she takes people for granted, too. but she'll learn that later. ]
Every time I've been confessed to, I've gotten an apology for it in the next second, as if they were a-- a burden for feeling that way, like it wouldn't make me happy to know someone wanted to look at me like that. And then I sometimes want someone I can't, and won't ever, have. Maybe from the outside it looks like I know my way around it, but I always feel two steps behind.
[ ... munch... she seems more resigned with herself than actually sad anyway, so. maybe not the happy pep, but it isn't fake. ]
Kinda getting a crash course to make up for the decade plus I couldn't, I guess.
[ All experience is worth having....or so the saying goes. Personally he thinks certain experiences could probably be passed over, but Malkuth seems to be hanging on well enough. ]
Soon you'll be the expert we'll all be coming to for advice.
[ But does she really want that? ]
Have you at least figured out what you like and don't like when it comes to relationships? Other than the apology afterwards. [ which is a weird as hell thing to happen, say it with your whole chest or don't say it at all ]
[ does she really want that........ also thanks she reprimanded both of them for it and made them have a do-over when they were sober/not in the middle of an amnesiac spell. malkuth's life is so fucking exciting.
but!!! she does tilt her head, thinking about it, before nodding. ]
Let's see... I like... more forward people. I don't think I'd mind someone aggressive with their affections, but I definitely don't like being crowded -- so someone who's considerate of my space and speed, but makes it known that they do like my company, and that they want me around. For basics. Trust and respect are a given, and I'd love someone who can... make me feel less someone with a gallon or three of blood on her hands and more like someone who's living a life she deserves to.
[ ... which she knows sounds. interesting, and clarifies after another bite of rice. ]
Like how I described Ryoji. I felt different than who I was, but not in a bad way -- I felt like a normal girl who had a crush. Um... I don't mind leading, but I'd like someone who takes the initiative a lot more. That's what I've learned from my mishaps!
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no subject
Yes. Until I found myself alone, and then I started thinking about it again, and then I had to smile until my face hurt so that no one would know that anything was wrong with me on an otherwise wonderful set of shows.
[ ...
that's a little real, maybe, and she pops the chicken into her mouth, turning her face away. she misses talking to march. ]
I'll... be fine. I'm just remembering that it sucks to like, like someone.
no subject
You can be as unfine in here as you want. I promise I won't tell anyone.
[ Not like he would have told anyone anyway with how closemouthed he is most days. ]
It's always hard, forming attachments only to lose them, and yet we all keep doing it anyway. [ Like a bunch of fools. ]
no subject
This is enough.
[ a little contact, that's all. friend to friend. unlike... what bit her in the ass before. ]
And you're telling me. I'm not as used to loss as someone like Gebura is, so I don't really know how to protect my heart from it... at the same time, I don't really want to? I like getting to know people, even if it makes me an idiot. I like liking people, even if it's a mistake. That's what living is to me.
[ growing attached, learning something new, and remembering them no matter if they're still around or not. ]
no subject
You shouldn't have to get used to it. I wouldn't wish that feeling upon anyone.
[ Speaking from experience. He takes a few more bits of food, chewing in silence. ]
For the record, I think you're just fine the way you are now. The fact that you make the most of the opportunities given to you instead of hide because you're afraid is what draws so many people to you. A bright light that fills up the room. [ ... ] Though you shouldn't feel forced to maintain it at all times.
no subject
it is nice that he adds on that at the end. it's an obvious thing, and it only hurts others when she has forced herself anyone... old habits die harder than she ever will though. ]
... Thanks. I'll be fine with some time, it's not like I'm lacking in hands to hold or friends to turn to. [ for better and worse. ] And helping everyone through LILITH's sure to keep my mind busy enough anyway.
[ maybe busy enough to simply pin the Other Things She's Dealing With to the side too and then she definitely won't be accosted by them in the future,
nonetheless malkuth's turning her head up she's tired of talking about herself!!!!! she needs to know this one thing!!!!!!! ]
But tell me! Your good news, Wrio! Who's the lucky person in your life, huh?
no subject
What, you don't think every person in my life is lucky to have me around?
[ Okay, maybe some of the reflex is still there. ]
no subject
[ and she can just as easily nudge it away, appetite coming back a little as she picks at her food. thank goodness chinese is good cold. ]
So? Someone you've known for a long time? I can't imagine you're the sort that falls head over heels.
no subject
She digs back into her Chinese food and he watches her, more interested in making sure her little upward lift in mood stays. ]
Sadly, I'm no fairy tale prince, able to fall in love at first sight. [ Even if he occasionally gives off enough green flags to be one. Anyway. ] It's Ishmael.
[ May as well just come right out and say it. ]
no subject
and then finish putting it in her mouth anyway, chewing slowly and thoughtfully. ishmael, huh? ishmael and wriothesley... ]
... So even she's got a gooey lovey-dovey heart under that prickly shell of hers...
[ don't worry. they're on better terms, malkuth's just like this with everyone. maybe there is hopes for the likes of gebura and yesod. ]
Congrats on the catch! I'm surprised she went for it, though -- it's not like... the people who come from the City are all that good with, you know. Understanding they deserve good things too. Generally speaking.
[ not her though she knows she deserves good things that's why she shoots herself in the foot and takes things for granted ]
no subject
I wouldn't call it lovey-dovey...
[ A little softer on the inside than that prickly exterior might suggest, sure. Not that he's not in danger of inhaling beef, it's time for another forkful to chew and swallow. (And yes, we are rooting for Gebura and Yesod.) ]
I don't think she wanted to, at first. [ Not to spill all of Ishmael's secrets or anything. ] She still could decide at any point that this is too much for her and walk away.
[ And he'd let her. Anyway, ]
You don't seem to have any problems with the art of romance.
no subject
anyway. she shrugs. ]
I catch on too late.
[ she takes people for granted, too. but she'll learn that later. ]
Every time I've been confessed to, I've gotten an apology for it in the next second, as if they were a-- a burden for feeling that way, like it wouldn't make me happy to know someone wanted to look at me like that. And then I sometimes want someone I can't, and won't ever, have. Maybe from the outside it looks like I know my way around it, but I always feel two steps behind.
[ ... munch... she seems more resigned with herself than actually sad anyway, so. maybe not the happy pep, but it isn't fake. ]
Kinda getting a crash course to make up for the decade plus I couldn't, I guess.
no subject
Soon you'll be the expert we'll all be coming to for advice.
[ But does she really want that? ]
Have you at least figured out what you like and don't like when it comes to relationships? Other than the apology afterwards. [ which is a weird as hell thing to happen, say it with your whole chest or don't say it at all ]
no subject
but!!! she does tilt her head, thinking about it, before nodding. ]
Let's see... I like... more forward people. I don't think I'd mind someone aggressive with their affections, but I definitely don't like being crowded -- so someone who's considerate of my space and speed, but makes it known that they do like my company, and that they want me around. For basics. Trust and respect are a given, and I'd love someone who can... make me feel less someone with a gallon or three of blood on her hands and more like someone who's living a life she deserves to.
[ ... which she knows sounds. interesting, and clarifies after another bite of rice. ]
Like how I described Ryoji. I felt different than who I was, but not in a bad way -- I felt like a normal girl who had a crush. Um... I don't mind leading, but I'd like someone who takes the initiative a lot more. That's what I've learned from my mishaps!